Showtunes by the Sea
by The Truth's Lie
Summary: A clip from the future in Zombieland.


Columbus smiled at the smell of the sea, slurping quietly on his thumb. It was peaceful, he decided. The zombies were gone for now, god knows where. They were slowly dying off. They were still people in a sense. Diseased, bloodthirsty people, but people nonetheless. With a lack of humans, they were starving. Not that they had the common sense to drink or sleep anyway. Soon, they'd go extinct, another blip in man kind's long and bloody history. A large hand skimmed down his back, stopping to give his ass a slight squeeze. Columbus jumped and winced when his teeth accidentally bit into his thumb. "Hold on there, spit-fuck." Tallahassee soothed. "Just me."

"I know that." He said, irritated. "You freaked me out though." He tilted his head back and placed his hands on his hips, raising an eyebrow at the amused look in his lover's eyes.

"What doesn't freak you out?"

"Pancakes." Ohio responded automatically. "You never hear of a pancake hurting anyone or someone choking on a pancake. They just sit there all fluffy and soft and wonderful, just kind of like, oh, he-e-e-ey you want a piece of me? I don't mind, really, take a bite, I'm magically delicious!" He mocked in a squeaky high-pitched voice. He was rewarded with a laughing smile.

"That's Lucky Charms, babe."

"Guys!" Little Rock screamed suddenly, "Look what I found!" The teen rushes out of a rundown store labeled _Sounds by the Sea, _clutching a multitude of CDs in her arms and gun bouncing along her shapely hips. "Chicago, Hairspray, Sweeney Todd, Wicked, Really Rosie, Rocky Horror, all of it!" She cheered. "Show tunes by the dozen!"

"Are you going to add it to your South Park doll collection?" Columbus asked, amused as he picked out a dusty CD. Little Rock had grown up well in Zombieland, a down to Earth and beautiful woman. He had no doubt she would be a survivor, even after the so-called apocalypse passed.

"I don't mind breaking into things but it's just sad for you to make me do it to grab-machines." Tallahassee says seriously. "And we aren't playing chick music in my car."

Little Rock deflated. "Wichita would have let me do it." She mumbled. Columbus melted slightly and pulled the girl into a hug.

"We'll sneak 'em in when he goes to the bathroom." He promises in a whisper. She sniffs and smiles weakly. Tallahassee is stiff and is looking out onto the ocean, a strange look in his eyes.

"I heard that." He says gruffly. "Just go put the damn things in the back seat with Lenny and Pan."

"Kenny and Stan." She responds, trudging back to the car.

"Poor kid." Columbus whispered to himself. Wichita's death wasn't mentioned much, but it wasn't ignored. The woman had died with honor. Not to be caught with her pants down, she had thrown herself off a building instead of being eaten by zombies.

"She's a tuff little bitch." He responds, throwing an arm over Ohio's shoulders and pulling him close. "She'll be just fine."

Columbus doesn't respond, breathing out and watching his breath float away in a cloud. "The coast is freezing." He mumbles.

"California's burning." He's reminded.

"The west is filled with tornadoes." Little Rock says, linking their fingers.

"The web officially crashed today." Columbus mumbles in addition. "I could still get World of Warcraft earlier. People were still logging in. This one guy said he hadn't eaten in a week and was going to die playing."

"Did he?" Little Rock asks.

"I'm not sure; he stopped logging in a week ago." Columbus smiles bitterly and turns towards the car. "Come on, let's go, we're burning daylight. I want to be in Canada by sundown."

"He's right; we should get going before night hits. I don't see any of those undead fuckers now but I don't want to take any chances." Tallahassee mutters, cocking his gun and looking around.

"You too, Lone Ranger." He teases gently when he sees the man isn't moving.

Tallahassee shoots him a withering look but complies, helping Little Rock into her seat. "Let's hit it." He hollers, revving the engine. "You hear that, zombie bastards? Try and catch me now!" He lets out a whoop and they tear down the abandoned street, playing chicken with parked cars and rushing the former humans like a bull.

Little Rock lets out a happy screech, Wichita forgotten for now while Sweet Transvestite blasts from the stereos. Columbus laughs and buckles up, pulling the strap tighter around his skinny chest. Ice has crusted over his window but there's no one they don't want to hit anyway. The engine roars loudly in his ears but it's more of a comforting sound than anything else. As long as cars work they'll have a means of escape, they'll travel the world and when they're finished they'll just start all over. Because things will heat up and the fire will stop and eventually, not soon, but eventually, things will get better. Who knows, maybe there are still some geniuses alive, holed up in their basements making a cure right now.

"You know something?" He muses to Tallahassee, pressing a soft kiss to a calloused palm. "I always wanted to go to China." The hand curls around his chin and a pair of warm lips meets his own.

"It's a good thing we got all the time in the world then, huh, spit-fuck?" The older man laughs as they collide with a zombie dressed like a stripper.

"Ireland next!" Little Rock chimes. "I want to see if Artemis Fowl is still alive!"

"Hell, we'll hijack a plane and fly to bloody England and check up on Harry Fucking Potter while we're at it!" Tallahassee exclaims, making a sharp turn to avoid a school bus. Columbus smiles and tilts his head back, bouncing it against the seat.

"We can't do that." He says mildly.

"Why not?" Little Rock demands, "It's not like we have anywhere to be."

"Because you need a special knock to get into Diagon Alley, remember?"

She sighs in exasperation as Tallahassee bursts out with "Nerd burn!"

And together, one big dysfunctional family, blood and flesh smeared to the bottom of their tires, they zoom off into the sunset.


End file.
